Pregnancy.
What the HELL do I do from here?
I fill up with a combination of emotions. So much excitement that turns into confusion when you look at a baby site.It's as if all of the baby products turn into egyptian hieroglyphics and I am not gifted in this language.
What do I buy? What do I ask for?
All of a sudden I feel unprepared and I have to fake the funk. My life's motto begins to be, "Just wing it." That is exactly what my life will be from now on, winging it. Along with diapers, wipes, burp cloths, and many nights of no sleep.
All of this on my mind I am only left to wonder what goes on in my husband's mind.
He is so far away, facing this unnecessary "war" with excitement to meet his child.
Life is definitely queer with it's twists and turns. So amazingly true.
I sit at doctor appointments alone and have no idea what i'm doing. I don't know what to ask or what I'm supposed to be getting from them. With much anxiety I will see my baby for the first time tomorrow. It feels as if a rock is lying against my chest as i'm counting down the hours.
I am beyond excited.
I will also find out how far a long I truly am. They calculated that i'll be 18 weeks tomorrow but we don't know for sure. I have gained no weight but have successfully lost weight while eating fatty foods. I have felt my child flutter in my womb, which truly IS as miraculous as mother's make it out to be. I have been thru nausea and bed ridden migraine days. I will surely go thru much MUCH more. lol
If you are pregnant as a new mother I would recommend reading this book called The Second Nine Months.
This book is the opposite of emotionally happy mothers after the baby is born. It's about the struggle of a woman facing the fears of daily screw ups and maternal love. I enjoyed it tremendously and devoured the text quickly.
So, we will see how this pregnancy goes.
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